Having a Family Conversation about Money



In many families, money still is not a typical dinner table discussion, but I think it should be. Surprisingly, this is especially true when it comes to affluent parents. And, I hope to change it because one of the most important things you can do is talk to your kids (and your parents) about money.


According to the Spectrem Millionaire Corner, a market research group, only 17% of affluent parents said they would disclose their income or net worth to their kids by the time they turned 18. A nearly equal amount, 18% said they would never disclose these numbers to their kids. While 32% of the rich parents surveyed by Spectrem said: “it’s none of their business” when asked why they would not talk to their kids about money.


But, that’s just faulty thinking, wouldn’t you agree?! I hope so! But, if not, read on …


Family Money Will Have a Huge Impact on Beneficiaries


The amount of money generated by your family, and what will happen to it when you or your parents become incapacitated or die is definitely your business. And whether your parents talk with you about it now, or you figure it all out after they die, your parent’s money will have a huge impact on you.


And, of course, your money will have a huge impact on your kids.


If your parents are not talking to you about money, it could be because they are afraid that if you know how much money there is, it will make you lazy, unmotivated, or change the course of your life decisions in a negative manner. Maybe you have the same fears of talking about money with your own kids.


But the truth is that whether you know exactly what there is or not, you have a general sense of your family’s affluence and it’s already impacted your decisions in a myriad of ways. And the best way for your family’s money to impact your decisions in a positive manner is to get into an open conversation about it all.


If your parents are not talking to you about money, consider that your job is to learn to communicate with your parents in a way that will have them trust the decisions you will make if you know just how much there is.


Perhaps consider that when money has come up in the past, you behaved immaturely, and that caused your parents not to trust you, but you can change that now. And consider the possibility that your parents would love it if they saw evidence of your maturity in this arena.


If you are a parent yourself, you probably already know or can imagine, that the most important wish you have for your children is that they learn to handle money well and that you want to influence them in the most positive way possible, when it comes to money.


Consider how you would want your children to approach you to have the money conversation, and how you can do exactly that with your parents?


We all have to learn about our family’s money eventually. And if that doesn’t happen until after our parents die, it can be a much bigger burden to deal with, and we can lose tremendous opportunities for passing on more than just money.


As an affluent parent or the child of affluent parents, getting into a conversation about money now is a huge opportunity to pass on values, insights, stories, and experiences that will be lost, if you wait until incapacity or death to start facing the truth together.


Helping you talk to your kids (or your parents) about money is one of the things I love to do because I see it as a real opportunity for your family to come together and use your whole family wealth to create more connections from one generation to the next. If I can help you here, please be in touch.


This article is a service of the Law Office of Keoni Souza, LLC, an estate planning law firm in Honolulu, Hawaii. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That's why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session, ™ during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before, and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by contacting our office today to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $750 session at no charge.


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All information available on this website is for informational purposes only and is not legal advice. You should contact an attorney directly regarding your specific situation. The use of and access to this website or the transmission of information via email or through this website does not create an attorney-client relationship between the Law Office of Keoni Souza, LLC and any users or any other party. Transmission of information via email or through this website may not be secure, therefore confidentiality cannot be assumed.  By using this website or transmitting information via email or this website, the user agrees to this information being collected, stored, or transmitted to a third-party.

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