Why Hawaiʻi Families Need More Than a Will — They Need a Family Mission Statement

You may already know you “should” have a will or a trust — but have you ever had a real conversation with your family about why your money exists in the first place?

A thoughtfully written family mission statement, paired with a well-designed estate plan, can dramatically increase the odds that both your wealth and your relationships survive for generations.

You spend a lifetime working, saving, and building a life for the people you love. Yet studies consistently show that around 70% of family wealth is lost by the second generation, and nearly 90% by the third. That kind of loss usually has very little to do with poor investing.

It happens because families lack:

• A shared purpose

• A shared story

• A shared plan

And no legal document alone can fix that.

Why Money Alone Doesn’t Hold Families Together

Many people assume that if they leave “enough” money — and the right legal paperwork — their job is done. Unfortunately, real life is more complicated.

When estate plans fail, it’s rarely because the documents were missing. More often, it’s because of human dynamics:

• Unspoken expectations

• Misunderstandings between siblings

• A surviving spouse left without guidance

• Adult children unprepared for responsibility

Grief has a way of magnifying old tensions — even in loving families. Without clarity, loved ones may make decisions based on fear, guilt, or assumptions about what you would have wanted.

A family mission statement doesn’t eliminate every disagreement, but it gives your loved ones an anchor — a shared understanding of your values and intentions. When combined with an estate plan designed to keep your family out of court and out of conflict, it can preserve both harmony and legacy.

Turning an Estate Plan into a Family Playbook

A family mission statement is a short, written expression of your family’s values, priorities, and purpose around life, money, and legacy.

It is not a legal document — and it does not replace your will or trust. Instead, it gives meaning and context to those documents.

Think of it this way:

• Your estate plan explains what happens to your assets

• Your family mission statement explains why — and how you hope those assets are used

In my Life & Legacy Planning Process, the goal isn’t just to create documents. The goal is to create a plan that actually works for real people — during incapacity, after death, and in the years that follow.

That includes:

• A clear inventory of what you own

• Instructions your loved ones can follow without confusion

• Ongoing reviews as your life, assets, and the law change

Your family mission statement sits right alongside all of this.

How a Family Mission Statement Supports Real Hawaiʻi Families

For families here in Honolulu and across Hawaiʻi, a mission statement can be especially powerful:

• Blended families gain clarity about how children from prior relationships and a current spouse are meant to be cared for

• Young adult children better understand why inheritances may be held in trust or tied to milestones like education or work

• All families gain a shared “north star” — something to return to during major life transitions

When clients work with me, we walk through what would happen to their loved ones if something occurred today — and then design a plan that reflects not just the law, but their values, relationships, and goals.

That’s where the mission statement naturally becomes part of the conversation.

Simple Steps to Create Your Own Family Mission Statement

You don’t need a massive estate or a “family office” to benefit from this process. You only need honesty, intention, and a little time.

1. Identify Your Core Values

Start by listing the values that matter most to you — generosity, education, faith, stability, adventure, service, or family connection.

Ask yourself:

If my children remembered three things about what I stood for, what would they be?

2. Connect Your Values to Money

For each value, consider how money should support it:

• Education → funding school, training, or entrepreneurship

• Family connection → experiences, travel, or traditions

• Generosity → charitable giving or modeling philanthropy

This is where your mission begins shaping how your trust and beneficiary designations are structured.

3. Write a Short, Honest Draft

Aim for three to six sentences in plain language. For example:

“In our family, relationships come first. Money exists to support education, meaningful experiences, and generosity — not entitlement. We work hard, care for one another, and use what we have to strengthen our ʻohana and community.”

If it feels real enough to read out loud, you’re on the right track.

4. Share It in a Family Conversation

The real power of a mission statement isn’t the paper — it’s the conversation. Share it over dinner or during a relaxed family gathering. Invite feedback. Listen more than you talk.

5. Align It With Your Legal Plan

Once your mission is clear, your estate plan should reflect it. If your values say “family comes first,” but your plan sends loved ones to court, something needs to change.

Regular reviews ensure both your mission and your plan evolve as your family grows.

How I Can Help

You work too hard to see your wealth — or your family relationships — unravel after you’re gone.

A family mission statement is a powerful starting point, but it reaches its full impact when paired with a Life & Legacy Plan designed to keep your family out of court and out of conflict.

If you’re in Honolulu or anywhere across Hawaiʻi and want a plan that aligns your values, your assets, and your legacy, I invite you to schedule a Life & Legacy Planning Session.

We’ll talk through your goals, answer your questions, and see whether my Life & Legacy Planning Process is the right fit for you and your ʻohana.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is a family mission statement legally binding?

No. It’s not a legal document — but it provides critical guidance and context for the people carrying out your plan.

Do we need one if we’re not wealthy?

Absolutely. In fact, families with fewer assets often benefit the most because clarity reduces conflict.

Should children be involved in writing it?

That depends on age and maturity. Adult children often benefit from being included in the conversation.

How often should we revisit it?

Every few years, or whenever there’s a major life change — marriage, divorce, births, deaths, or significant financial shifts.

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This article is brought to you by the Law Office of Keoni Souza, a boutique estate planning firm located in Honolulu, Hawaiʻi, proudly serving families on Oʻahu and across the Hawaiian Islands. At our firm, estate planning is about more than documents — it’s about creating lasting peace of mind for you and the people you love. Through our unique Life & Legacy Planning Process, we guide you to make informed, empowered decisions that protect your wealth, your wishes, and your family’s future. To get started, contact our Honolulu office today to schedule your Life & Legacy Planning Session.

Disclaimer: The information on this website is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal advice. For guidance tailored to your specific situation, please consult an estate planning attorney licensed in the State of Hawaiʻi. Use of this website or communication through this site does not create an attorney-client relationship with the Law Office of Keoni Souza, LLC.